I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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