i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
