Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
