dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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