i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
