In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
