Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
