so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize