the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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