Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
