Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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