On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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