I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize