Soap is not a condiment
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
