i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
