it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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