But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
