in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
