no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
