If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
