You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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