highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
