Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
