All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I party with great urgency now.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
