Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
