So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
