I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
