I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The air was thick with penises
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
