I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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