New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize