your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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