he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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