Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
