i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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