Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
