I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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