I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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