I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
