Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
