I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Houston, we have a blender
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
