He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
