Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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