Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize