He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
