Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
