Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
