he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
