i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
