Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
