this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
