Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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