I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Even my vagina gasped.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
