i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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