had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
