i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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