So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
