my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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