After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
